HEALTH & HIPS EDITION

Daily Zing —  August 1st, 2025 | Manchester

Hippity Hop, No More Hip Pain!

Sandbach resident and self-proclaimed ultrasound enthusiast reports a medical miracle after a morning hobble turned heroic.

"I was moving like a haunted shopping trolley," he confessed. "Then I remembered my 8-watt, 1MHz massage device—small enough to fit in my sock drawer, powerful enough to topple Big Pharma’s stock prices."

In what can only be described as a seismic shift in self-care, he zapped his aching hip and claims the pain vanished quicker than a GP appointment slot.

Ultrasound therapy: once reserved for hospital backrooms and sci-fi, now apparently the cure-all for arthritis, cancer, and boredom.

"When I saw Deborah and we booked the Sandbach five-star trip for my birthday, I thought hip pain might ruin it. But two buzzes and a cuppa later—I’m dancing like it’s 1995."

Big Pharma declined to comment, though one anonymous CEO was seen whispering “oh no…” into a test tube.

As for the device? It’s cheaper than a pack of biscuits and, unlike injections, doesn’t leave you wondering which limb is currently numb.

Doctor’s Orders or DIY Buzz?

One thing’s clear: this hip hero won't be hobbling into his birthday bash. If you hear a gentle humming in your neighbour’s living room, don’t be alarmed—just ultrasound curing another case of “Ouch.”

Reporter: And Deborah? Does she believe in the miracle of massage?

Sir Trollins: She booked the five-star hotel. Said if I brought the device, she’d bring the biscuits. True love, eh?

Reporter: Rumor has it this treatment can bankrupt pharmaceutical empires?

Sir Trollins: That’s the theory. My hip’s better, and their stock’s lower. Coincidence? I think not.